This was my Million Dollar Smile at the Single Wives SA finale where I had to share with all 10 followers who were watching the series-my life drama and what the future holds for me from here. Little did I know I was going to be thrown into another Lockdown and wouldn’t be able to see anyone for another 6 weeks-I think I would have managed my time better and left a bit earlier.
Be that as it may-no one has a crystal ball to see into the deep dark future so I can’t really blame myself for not knowing any better.
Life after a Reality Show: People always ask me strange questions about my life after the reality show-like did it change you? Have I become more popular? Do people recognize me from the show? and how much money did I make?
I would like to think I was well-known before the show and I don’t feel like the show made much of a difference to my popularity at all. In fact, my Instagram account was hacked cause the person who hacked it probably thought I was someone to know and I would pay to get my account back-NOT! So today I wanted to speak about popularity…
Popularity for me is a perception that someone else has of you based on the viewer’s level of self-esteem. For me, it’s when someone elevates you to a certain status and puts you on a pedestal-a cool kid-or a mean girl-that type of thing. It’s utterly and completely a load of bull. Because followers on Social Media are no indication of popularity. You can have 100k followers and be the loneliest person in the world with two friends and a dog. You can have 1000 followers and have a great circle of friends and family, colleagues who love you, neighbors who are always inviting you to their stuff, and the man at your local Spar who knows you by name-that is also popular. I would rather have the latter, cause the latter sounds like healthy, fruitful relations, it sounds like inclusion, it sounds like you’re important and not just another “like” on an Instagram page.
I am by no means saying that those people with 100k followers are lonely and not popular, I am talking about perception here-Who is looking?
You see, your perception of things has been carefully crafted from the many years you’ve been on earth, the experiences you’ve been through, and your exposure. OMG- I cannot stress enough how exposure affects your life. What you are exposed to-or what you expose yourself to is ultimately what will define your nature, character, and attitude. Your perception will highlight what you wanna see and not see, cause we can both look at a pot plant, I will see the pretty flowers and you will see the broken pot? Perception. Perception is how your brain receives the information, processes it, and then explains it in your mind.
And what affects our perception?
- The first thing which affects our perception is our level of self-esteem- a higher level of self-esteem will force us to see the good in people, the beauty in things, and the world as a bursting balloon of opportunities. Someone with low self-esteem will see the risks, the bad, the negatives of any person or situation.
- The Second is your exposure: if you have not been exposed to a certain situation before, this obviously will affect your perception of it-naturally humans are apprehensive of the things we know the least about. This often causes a lot of prejudice. For example, if you haven’t tried online dating before but you’ve heard such bad stories about it and now you’ve successfully formulated an opinion based on other people’s experiences and think it’s rubbish. Whereas someone who has tried it and is getting married now will definitely have a different opinion on it.
- and Lastly, your life experiences. Your brain thinks at 0.00000000000001 sec, so as soon as you see a RED FLAG, a similar situation/experience, or a certain behavior-there is literally an alarm that goes off in your mind immediately. For example, if your ex cheated on you and told you he’s visiting his mother and your next boyfriend says -hey I’m going to visit my mum, in a split second your brain will take you back to the situation of the cheating boyfriend.
The beautiful thing about the mind is that it’s a computer that can be re-programmed every day. You can wake up in the morning and decide to literally change the way you think or overthink, change the way you eat or walk or even talk if you wanted to. We are in charge of our own brains. That is the point. So back to my point on popularity-It only exists in your mind.
KINDLY BE ADVISED THAT ALL OPINION PIECES ARE MY OPINION AND I DO NOT REGARD IT AS FACTUAL